We see children who are very intelligent while others not so intelligent. As these children progress in life we may find the not so intelligent child may sometimes be better placed in careers than those who were very intelligent scholastically. So what’s different one has the brain the other abilities, it’s not the academic excellence that worked but the abilities.
Are children born geniuses or has it to do with something else. It’s much like a seed which wants to grow but has to depend on the soil, water and sunlight to thrive, similarly a child born has to depend on love, care and nurture from the parent to survive and thrive.
What parents say and express goes a long way in not just building blocks for the child but strengthening it too.
A child mind is like a sponge that absorbs all that it takes in. All that the parents do and say goes from the conscious to the subconscious of the child. All events that the mind gets involved in are stored in the subconscious which acts much like a repository for not just the events but the beliefs of the child.
During early childhood, beliefs enter through direct auto-suggestive process. This belief system is directly influenced by what parents do and say.
These beliefs form the foundation of the self-belief system at the subconscious level. This general belief system defines how we see ourselves, how we see the world around us and govern our approach to daily life.
Let’s take for example a parent telling their child ‘you are useless’ ‘you can’t even achieve this.’ ’your brother can do this why can’t u.’ these suggestions go deeply into the subconscious mind, including all the emotions experienced. While the matter may not be remembered until many years later the scar eft by the remark may still be held fast in the belief system. Let’s take another example of child not being given enough attention, often leaves an insecure self-image which may have impact for life.
The greatest impact occurs during the first five to seven years of age. It is at this time that a child is drawing information from parents and siblings and establishing a basis of self-image for itself. A child in negative environment will gain negative belief, conversely a child in positive environment will develop positive belief system.
Negative belief system will impact child producing anxiety, stress, negative self images or even trauma. Clinically these children may manifest as separation anxiety, crying or whimpering, withdrawal or disruptive behaviour, lack of attention, irritability, fear, and sleeping disorders including nightmares/terrors, depression, stomach aches, nail biting or bedwetting.
Recognising when a child is stressed or anxious is a major first step in assisting them to deal with their emotions, thoughts, feelings or reactions.
Parents say children are sensitive, but often forget the same when they are upset and may use abusive words and language to the child not meaning it fully though. Children as we know are innocent do not analyse will take in what you give unlike an adult who will reflect and then react or respond. The child is much like a fresh dough who is being moulded in the process giving positive auto suggestion will ensure adequate self-esteem, self-confidence, and emotionally resilient qualities that would make a child successful.
It’s not what the child can do but what you make him out of your statements that develops beliefs in the child which will go a long way to program your child to success.